Well like any good zombie, I'm going to rise up, half decomposed and sun burned, to feast on a few brains when someone walks within range.
Because consistency is the key. The lack of that trait has haunted me throughout my life. I have always failed to be consistent. I've never had a problem being per-sistent, even to the point of being extremely obnoxious and arrogant about a topic I've known very little about (I get paid for this now). But sticking to my guns, staying with the ship while it sinks to the murky depths, that has never been a strong suit. I've always managed to hitch a ride with the closest rescue raft.
Well FUCK THAT. That's over and done. At least until I grow bored.
I've completely dropped the ball on this blog. I really had high hopes, scribbling a few designs for t-shirts and book covers (seriously...unfortunately), thinking I was going to make this blog important. But I couldn't stay consistent. Now this is the first starting point, the first step towards being a dependable, consistent asshole.
The ultimate paradox for me has been the fact that consistency has been closely associated with everything I hate. The time-clock. The habitat. The routine, The SCHEDULE. I've never wanted to be consistent because I was afraid I'd trap myself into being normal. Normal is the last trait I ever want to hear someone associate to me.
I've always been drawn to the free-spirited, inconsistent Kramers of the world. The guys who would be so incomplete, they were lovable. I've almost purposefully been late to every single event so that I could bust down the door, slide in, and slap a hand to my forehead to the chorus of cheers from a studio audience. I've taken the term "fashionably late" to a whole new level. I felt that I absolutely HAD to make a dramatic entrance. My ultimate fear in life? To be forgotten. I lay awake at night afraid that I will die and be forgotten--my existence trivial, accomplishing nothing.
So in a way, that was my consistency. The way I felt, the desire to be seen as abnormal. Remembered. INCONSISTENT.
But in truth, somewhere down the line, you find out that consistency is a necessary evil. An embrace with the devil, in order to secure a steady job, a consistent income, and a consistent standing with the world. Being thorough and timely, routine and consistent, can get you a slice of that apple pie laced with arsenic and baked with the failed hopes of millions---but fucking TASTY with the spice of tears and the motivation to bake a better version. A version that you can take to the bake sale and make old hag Windy shit herself with envy, and pray to God for the secret ingredient. A version that makes the runners-up proud that SOMEONE was able to defeat the champ...
In all actuality, the right mix of consistency and wild spirit can mix a molotov cocktail of success. Consistency actually buys you enough time to pursue your vision for a better life. It can buy you enough time to figure out how to achieve your calling.
You just have to embrace it, but hold on to what makes you. You can't let this world suck you dry-- it will. You have a point, a destiny, a calling. You have to hang on to everything you have....because once you try to ride and tame the beast of routine, you absolutely can't fall. Failure has to be unacceptable, because there's nothing left on the floor to soften the blow.....
So despite fact that it drives me bat-shit insane, I'm going to seek a little consistency. I'm actually going to finish what I started. Look for more writings......
I'm sure I can find more bullshit to write about. And I know I can consistently write and sound like a total douche bag :)
P.S. My apologies if this makes absolutely no sense. I'm not even sure that it makes sense to ME after re-reading. It's ze devil (alcohol is presently involved)
